by V.B. Monchego, Jr.
The grumpy man is unhappy, always, even on weekends when he is not required to labour as a government-paid provocateur. When the grumpy man prematurely flips a perfectly round pancake and it breaks into battery pieces, the frying pan sails through the kitchen window, randomly striking a Witness spreading the hopeful word of Jehovah. This action assures the grumpy man a place in eternal hellfire. On the other hand, Jesus will greet the Witness in 23 earth years at the Pearly Gates. Jesus will give the Witness a monogrammed cardigan which the Witness will wear in Heaven, causing unspoken envy among the other angels.
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